Family, Marriage

7 Ways to Respect Your Husband

Ephesians 5:33 However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she RESPECTS her husband.”

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about how I can be a better wife to my amazing husband. How I can go out of my way to be encouraging and loving. We read in the Bible that it is important to respect our husbands. But how can you really respect your husband?

7 Ways To Respect Yout HusbandThis can be very difficult. Especially in marriages where the wife may be willing and wanting to work on things and strive to better the marriage, and the husband does not. Maybe they are lazy, maybe they don’t show you love, maybe they make you feel unwanted, unloved, or unimportant. I will admit I have felt this many times in my marriage. I would get stuck in this very depressed mode where all I could think about is how awful he was and how our marriage lacked in every way possible. Was it me that was making things out to be worse than they actually were? Was I holding on to grudges too firmly? Dwelling on mistakes made by your spouse can be detrimental to your marriage. That’s not something that should even be present in marriage.

  • Don’t hold on to past mistakes. Proverbs 17:9 “Love prospers when a fault is forgiven, but dwelling on it separates close friends.”

This verse sums it up pretty well right here. My husband and I made lots of mistakes before we were married. Before we even met actually. We were both very young, living our lives and trying to learn how to grow up. He was not a Christian. I was, and still messed up more than he did! It’s very easy to hold onto things that your spouse has hurt you with in the past. VERY EASY. Any time a disagreement comes up, you can remind him of his past mistakes to further your argument. “You did this. You did that. See how awful you are!” Sure, it’s easy to do. I am extremely guilty of this. But is it right to do that? In the words of our children’s favorite snow queen and probably the most overly used phrase in 2014, “LET IT GO!” No one deserves to have their mistakes thrown back in their face to relive that guilt all over again. If you uttered the words, “I forgive you”, mean it.

  • Pray for your husband. Matthew 21:22 And whatever you ask in prayer, you will receive, if you have faith.”

Who doesn’t want to be prayed for? Doesn’t it feel good knowing someone cares enough to take time out of their day to pray just for you? I go out of my way to pray for my husband every single day. Prayer that he is watched over. Prayer that he is protected. Prayer that he is encouraged at work. Prayer that he has strength to overcome whatever temptations lie ahead. Prayer about everything and anything.

  • Don’t talk down to him. Proverbs 15:1 “A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.”

Guilty as charged. Yet again. We have all been there. He left his crap all over the living room, he doesn’t want to help with the kids, he won’t clean anything. Wherever it may be that he lacks, there’s no need to point it out constantly and put him down just for the sake of it. He will not take it as an encouragement. No, they will take is as nagging and you trying to change them into the man they can never realistically live up to. And why are we trying to change our husbands anyways? We did marry these guys, after all. There must be something good there 😉 Encouraging words are always the way to go. which brings me to my next bullet..

  • Speak encouraging words. Proverbs 16:24 “Gracious words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.”

Sure, as stay-at-home moms, we thrive on encouraging words. It’s what gets us through our incredibly stressful, busy, hectic days. But what about our hubbies? They have bad days too. They have hard, stressful, hectic days too. Not just us. We need to get off our high horses and realize sometimes our men need uplifting words too. And we should be the ones giving it to them. “Wow honey, you really are amazing at fixing those lights! You are so unbelievably good with the kids!” They eat that stuff up! And they feel appreciated at the same time.

  • Don’t dress like your trying to pick up men. 1 Timothy 2:9 “Likewise, I want women to adorn themselves with proper clothing, modestly and discreetly, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly garments”

This may sound like a strange way to show respect to your husband, but hear me out. This does not mean dress like a nun and cover yourself from your head to your ankles. If you are married, show respect to your husband by dressing modestly. Don’t dress like you are trying to get every man’s eyes on you. He won’t appreciate it. It might even cause him to doubt your devotion. My husband really appreciates me dressing down. I know that sounds weird but it’s true. He doesn’t want every man staring at me. And I don’t either! So keep it casual, save the sexiness for the bedroom!

  • Let him take charge of things!

No man likes to be told what to do and HOW to do it. Men appreciate when women have confidence in them and believe that what they are doing is the right way to do it. Show your man that you know he can make decisions on his own once in a while and be confident in him! And relax, it’s not the end of the world if he messes up. I’m talking about small things here. Not huge financial and important decisions we should be making as a couple. (Keep in mind this does not apply to the bedroom. Men seriously need to be told EXACTLY what to do in there!)

  • Ask for his opinion.

My husband’s face lights up when I ask for his opinion. I know, simple right?! Something so little and miniscule can mean so much to your husband. Asking his opinion means you value his way of thinking and it is important to see what he thinks. This says loads about how much you respect him. Ask what he thinks of that new haircut you were thinking of getting. Ask him about what you’re wearing. Of course, just because you ask his opinion, it doesn’t necessarily mean it’s the “right choice” and should be followed.

Here’s where some women interpret scripture a little too literally. Ephesians 5:22-23 Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.”

Respecting them does NOT mean we are to be slaves to our husbands. We do not bow down to them. Some Christian women seem to think this is the case, and I’m here to tell you, it’s not. As Christian women, we are to respect our husbands, to show them love, to help them feel important. That should be something we want to do. BUT, some women take it too far and let their husbands control them. My heart aches for these women. They come from the absolute best place and have the best intentions. They want to give themselves 100% to their husbands and let them take control. As the Bible states, “submit” right? Don’t be one of those women who take these verses literally.

Be respectful to your husband. Be loving to your husband. Show him you care. Show him you love him. Be the best wife you can possibly be. I believe that is what God wants. And let’s try to remember this verse..

Proverbs 25:24 “It is better to live on the corner of the roof, than share a house with a quarrelsome wife.”

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37 Comments

  1. I love the ideas you put forth in this post to show Hubby some extra love!!! I really want my readers to know about this too! I want to share this in my weekly series called “Roll Out The Red Carpet Thursday” – I share bloggers’ amazing posts that I’ve found during the week. I hope that’ ok! Have a great night!
    Danielle recently posted…5 Ways to be Patient with HubbyMy Profile

    1. Why thank you! I’d be honored to be featured on your “roll out the red carpet Thursday”!

  2. I love this post! I’m always looking for fresh ideas to try when it comes to my marriage and these are so practical! Thank you for sharing your heart!
    Danielle recently posted…5 Ways to be Patient with HubbyMy Profile

    1. You’re welcome! Thanks for stopping by 🙂

  3. Beautiful post and the tips so important to a quality marriage. I’ve been married for 10 years and these are so key. I pray for him often, try and forget past mistakes and move on, and get his opinion on so many things. Communication is huge in our marriage. Without that and Christ as our center we probably would not be where we are today. (Stopped by from the FB group.)
    Heather recently posted…Fluffernutter FudgeMy Profile

    1. Keeping Christ in the center of your marriage is vital. Thanks for stopping by Heather 🙂

  4. Love these practical ideas WITH scripture included. 🙂 Thanks for the great reminders today!!
    Jennifer @ Emulsified Family recently posted…The Struggles of a Chef Wife – Worrying About Their Health and SafetyMy Profile

    1. You’re very welcome 🙂

  5. Great tips, I’ll have to keep these in mind. We just had our 5 year anniversary 🙂
    Alisha Webster recently posted…Liebster Award NominationMy Profile

  6. I have to admit, I have problems with snapping at my husband. I need to learn to speak more love into him!
    Jaime recently posted…Slow Cooker Pizza SauceMy Profile

    1. We all snap every once in while 😉

  7. such a great post! I have to say that I have to work on some of these.. I am way too independent and tend to take charge of most situations.. lol Thanks for sharing this post!
    Yaitza recently posted…Latest “Go-to” Lunch featuring Healthy Grocery Store FindsMy Profile

  8. Oh man! I have seen a lot of wives dress very provocatively and I always felt that was very de-edifying to your husband! I also have learned to ask my husband for permission! I know in this feminist culture that’s unusual, but I realized that two people can’t drive the car of our family’s life. And I trust him to know when/where are the best things for all of us. Stopped by from the CreativeKKids link up.
    Maria Hass recently posted…Signs, and Wonders, and Times – Oh my!My Profile

    1. JustOneMommysOpinion

      I appreciate your comment! I agree that it is de-edifying. Don’t know if I agree about asking permission 🙂 But that’s just me. In most cases, I don’t think it would be wise to give the reigns completely over to your husband and follow him blindly. The husband could be a very new Christian, which was the case for me, and in that instance I personally don’t think it would be best to let him take the reigns. I feel like marriage is a partnership in all aspects. Every relationship is different though! 🙂 And I wouldn’t say I’m part of the “feminist culture”. But I really appreciate the comment!

  9. Nice post! I agree with you. Women should be modest although I never would have thought to write it out that way. Thanks for that! All the rest are on target too. I’m right beneath you on Thoughtful Thursdays. Have a great week!
    Heaven recently posted…Super Simple Refried BeansMy Profile

    1. JustOneMommysOpinion

      Awesome, thanks for the comment! I’m going to go check out your blog now 😉

  10. Great article. I have the best husband for 25 years !!!

  11. Good read – as wives I think we all need to hear this no matter how hard this maybe be. Thanks for sharing!

    1. JustOneMommysOpinion

      Absolutely. And It’s hard for all of us, including me!

  12. Thanks for these tips. It is nice to remind them how much we love them when times get tough

  13. Thank you for the tips! My hubby is the best, and these are a nice reminder to make sure I take care of him 🙂

  14. Thanks for the tips. It’s important to remember we need to take care of our husbands and not just our children.

  15. haha my husband just gives me his 😉 No asking for opinions here! Thanks for the beautiful post.

  16. Always a good reminder. Thanks for sharing these!

  17. I lovelovelove this! My hubs is my best friend…thanks for sharing 🙂

  18. My husband is a gift from God and I will always cherish him. I just won’t let him know that because his ego will get this big ;). Love these suggestions you shared. I agree with all of them, especially the dressing to pick up men.

    1. JustOneMommysOpinion

      Thanks for the comment! So glad you found the suggestions helpful. Lol on the ego comment 🙂

  19. I’m not married but I will keep these in mind for that day.

  20. Patty H

    I love all of these tips and couldnt agree more. These are perfect ways to respect.

    1. JustOneMommysOpinion

      Thanks for the feedback!

  21. Great post – we are here to lift our husbands up and thank God daily for them!! I’m blessed to have a great one and I call him my best friend! 🙂

    1. JustOneMommysOpinion

      Thanks! Finding good husbands is so hard these days. We are truly Blessed 🙂

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